#how MUCH Ed needs to see Stede in these glasses

[triflesandparsnips]

BRING THEM BACK FROM THE WAR

👓✨

[dean-winchesters-clit]

I need y'all to understand how fucking important it is that their lovemaking song was La Vie En Rose.

Those translated covers you hear on TikTok take their lyrics from a Louis Armstrong cover of the original French version sung by Edith Piaf. The English lyrics are beautiful but there are some things lost in translation, which is why I love that they had Izzy sing the original French version while Stede and Ed are making love.

Edith Piaf's version of the song is all about the intensity of love and finding love after a trying time. Her vocals are incredible and bleed all the different emotions she feels while singing. Izzy starts with the English translation of the song, which goes:

But a closer translation to the original French would be:

"Quand il me prend dans ses bras; When he takes me into his arms/ Il me parle l'a tout bas; He speaks to me softly/ Je vois la vie en rose; And I see life through rose-colored glasses."

Obviously this is fine and dandy, but it's the translation of the original French lyrics used later in the episode that really get me. Izzy sings this:

Which translates to this:

"He speaks words of love to me/ They are every day words/ And they do something to me.

"He has entered into my heart/ A bit of happiness/ That I know the cause of.

"It's only him for me/ And me for him, for life/ He told me, he swore to me, for life."

It's that last verse that the English version just wouldn't be able to capture. The translated version of that verse is about angels and love songs and mentions nothing of a vow to love one another for life.

That's what's so special to me about the French version of the song being used in that moment. Edith Piaf sings as a person who has lived through so much pain and suffering (which she definitely did as a French woman living through World War II) and finally finds comfort and peace in the arms of her beloved.

That is ultimately what Ed and Stede are for one another. Safe harbors, calm waters, peaceful days and nights in each other's presence. They bicker and argue and hurt one another, but they always come back together so easily. Stede was hurt and needed reassurance, needed to prove to himself that he wasn't a whim, needed to feel the security of Ed in his arms. And perhaps they shouldn't have gone all the way that night, but they're both impulsive and obsessed with each other and they needed something.

It's that song that lets me know they're gonna be okay. They're intense and impulsive but they compliment each other. They fit together perfectly, and they find comfort in one another no matter what's happened to them in the past. They need their harbors, their anchors, each other. They'd never leave each other behind. They make each other's lives la vie en rose.

(Edit: fixed a translation error)

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Ed’s Initial Intentions regarding Stede

Thank you so much for your attention to the poll. The consensus is it’s complicated - and I sort of agree - although I’m swayed towards Fascination alone.

This is my interpretation…

Stede causes Ed to access hidden or denied parts of himself before they’ve even met. And it causes a change in Ed’s behaviour. Ed’s come across many rich or aristocratic folks to rob whom he would see killed without issue; but not someone who’s also a pirate, doing their own original thing, and who seems ambivalent towards Blackbeard’s existence. It’s dopamine to Ed’s novelty-starved brain. It’s not as if Ed carries out a usual raid on the Revenge intending to kill Stede, only to find himself unexpectedly charmed. Ed’s bewitched even before he meets Stede, which means Ed’s entire approach and thought-processes are altered.

Killing Stede and the crew isn’t necessarily off the table should the need arise, but I don’t think it’s actively on in any capacity. There’s no plan, and there’s no ‘uszh’ for once either. Because none of this is uszh. Ed’s engagement with the Revenge is not his normal MO. History’s most brilliant tactician is free-styling. Possibly free-falling.

At the end of 102, Izzy states, ‘Captain says follow that ship.’ And Fang answers ‘Oh really? Why?’ To which Izzy replies, ‘How should I know? The man’s half-insane.’ This conversation shows this isn’t usual strategy. Even Fang asks why - he thought they’d seen the last of those ‘fancyboys’. And Ivan’s sad he didn’t get the chance to murder them, which seems the usual way of things. Plus they’d already had the chance to take or plunder the ship when it ran aground, so this stalking manoeuvre is out of the ordinary. It feels like wasted time and energy.

By the start of episode three, Blackbeard’s ship is a few hundred yards out from the Revenge, and Izzy’s trying to manipulate Ed into usual strategy again by suggesting opening fire, or boarding and throwing the Revenge crew to the sharks. Instead, Ed wants to wait until they make landfall and invite them aboard his ship. Ed’s doing something very different again because he’s unwittingly engaging with an unfamiliar part of himself. And interestingly ‘Go suck eggs in Hell’ appears not to insult, but to somewhat seduce him further. Before meeting Stede, he’s already out of his depth emotionally, and acting out of character, literally.

Despite what Ed would do normally, I just cannot see him landing on the Revenge with the active intent of plundering the ship and / or killing Stede and the crew. His words and actions suggest he’s already through the looking-glass.

So, to The Plan. We have three interesting moments which lead up to its revelation: the clothes swap, ‘careful of your face’ and ‘show me the ways of an aristocrat’.

For me, the three strands, which have no previous connection (other than Ed and Stede playing together), come together in Ed’s mind somewhere between Ed leaving Stede on the lookout, and Ed speaking with Izzy below: a matter of seconds. It reminds me of Keyser Söze in The Usual Suspects, pulling together disparate ideas into a cohesive story spontaneously. It’s the mind of a quick-thinker. And it’s in-keeping with Ed’s ability of reacting in the moment to the moment when necessary.

I think Ed also feels forced to perform Blackbeard for Izzy because Izzy’s threatening to leave pushes on that white father-figure emotional bruise. At this stage, Ed doesn’t have enough emotional loyalty to Stede to not voice such a plan; whilst his identity is still too caught in Izzy’s web to let him go - ‘you’re needed here’. For me, the plan to kill Stede is brought about in the moment via an act of psychological coercive control.

But Ed’s also kicking the can down the road. It’s a sort of Faustian bargain. Why not promise Izzy both their souls if it means Ed and Stede can hang out a little longer? Yet on another level Ed’s possibly hoping the debt won’t be called in, such is the complexity of the push and pull here. He’s putting it on the tab, the never-never. He’ll out-manoeuvre it if he decides that’s what he wants. Of course there’s doublethink going on because Ed’s in the middle of an identity crisis.

Ed daren’t admit his real reason for wanting to stay on the Revenge. He can’t comprehend himself even how deep this goes. His look as he turns is one of exhaustion and confusion. Stede Bonnet has him rattled. What started as a trickle of unease and ennui before they’d even met is now a whirlpool of unidentifiable feelings around both Stede, and Ed’s own perception of self.

Ed’s free-falling in liminal space.

[amuseoffyre]

Finding it interesting that Ed can read other pirates like a book, but Stede is like a locked and sealed volume hidden in a chest under the floor to him.

Ed says of Ned "it's usually a family thing" and yet never once sees that in Stede. Likewise, with Mary and Anne, "I can see what they're doing. This is a game to them".

I suspect part of it is that he doesn't think it's possible Stede could be like them, that he also has some kind of trauma. "You've got it all figured out", he says, never noticing how Stede flinches. A lot of it comes from Stede making very conscious decisions to bottle things up and stiff-upper-lip his way through a lot of stuff.

What Ed sees as whimsical lunacy is actually Stede's desperate need for acceptance and approval as himself. His eccentric behaviour seems more like a charming quirk than a sign of some deeper trauma there. He literally runs headlong into dangerous situations, including piracy itself, because whatever he left behind was so much worse for him.

It's very clear Ed didn't hear him when Stede said he very much knew what it felt like, treading water, waiting to drown, because Ed was too caught up in venting about his life being boring to the first person who showed an interest.

In S1, Stede actively never voiced his concerns - the one time he did briefly lose his temper (after Jack pissed on his shoes), the next thing he knows, Ed is leaving him with that same man. The minute a figure from his past points out all his sins, his self-assurance cracks like glass.

In S2, that fear is still there: the fear of not being enough and that Ed will have a better and happier life without him.

His wife moved on in his absence and found a better life without him. Now, the first time he's been able to stand his ground, do what his father always told him was "a man's work", and slept with the man he loves, he's being told it was "a mistake". Which isn't what Ed is saying, but no doubt it's what Stede hears because it's the lesson beaten and stoned and snarled into him his entire life.

The fact that Ed does have these blank spots about Stede's past is causing a lot of the trouble in their miscommunication. Ed needs to know him if they're going to get anywhere, just as he needs to know Ed and I'm so curious about how they're going to do it.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

hello! here’s a ficlet prompt for you if you’re still taking them: I’d love to read something about ed and stede getting older together over the years and maybe having a little discussion about it 🥰

"Stede, love," Ed said, as gently as he could as he sat Stede's evening cup of hot chocolate on the side table next to him, "you've been really quiet all day."

Stede just hummed, looking down at the wonky pair of socks he was knitting, and Ed took a sip of his own cocoa, swinging his legs up onto the couch next to Stede, and contented himself to listen to the irritable clack of Stede's knitting needles for a while.

Getting things out of Stede could still be like pulling teeth, sometimes, and Ed knew he just had to wait it out and see if Stede wanted to talk. Just the same now as it used to be, even now that they'd gotten past the days where they could joke that Stede's hair was cinnamon-sugar to match Ed's salt-and-pepper, now that Stede was mostly sugar and Ed was mostly salt. Now that Stede had to wear those fussy little glasses almost all the time, and Ed couldn't stand to walk around without warm knitted socks on his feet, and -

"We had to stop and rest three times on the way to the market today," Stede said, then.

"Oh," Ed blinked. "Yeah, uh. We did."

And it had been nice. They'd sat and watched the ships flow in to the port for a while.

"It used to be," Stede said, "that we didn't have to stop and rest even once."

Ed blinked again. He supposed that was true -

"We're getting old, Ed," Stede said, and his voice broke.

"Aww, sweetheart," he said, gently taking Stede's knitting from his hands, rearranging them so Ed could toss his legs up into Stede's lap, and they could hold each other close. "We are, yeah. And is that a bad thing?"

Just meant things had to be different, was all. Ed needed to dress warmer and be even more careful of his knee. Stede was getting stiff hands. They needed more breaks, and liked their food a bit less adventurous, and Ed's hearing wasn't what it used to be. All that meant was more time to sit with each other, and help each other, and just be with each other as the hustle of life started to feel like it was getting slower every day.

Stede grumbled, sending the curl of hair over his forehead waving with a bitchy huff of an exhale. "It's not fair."

"Not fair."

"Not fair," Stede repeated. "It's not fair at all. We're getting old, Ed, and you don't know how much longer we've got left, and - it would only have been fair for time to slow down a bit, once we found each other."

"Not really sure that's -"

"I know that's not how it works, Ed," Stede snapped. "It's just not right, that I had to spend most of my life without you. It's not right I had to spend most of my life not getting to be myself. It's not fair, that I had to spend most of my life being miserable."

Ed sighed. Damn. That was...yeah. That did sting, when he put it like that. And there wasn't really anything Ed could do to change that - if they both lived to be a hundred, maybe?

But what were the odds of that?

"I'd do it all over again," he said, instead of trying to lean on empty promises. "All of it. Happily. Because I get to grow older with you."

Stede let his head flop dramatically back against the couch. That certainly hadn't changed over the years. "I mean. Yes. Me, too, obviously."

"Oh, obviously."

"Yes, obviously." Stede shushed Ed with a gentle flick to the tip of his nose, and they both smiled. "I suppose we at least got it right in the end, didn't we?"

Ed snuggled closer, resting his head on Stede's shoulder. "Yeah. We sure did."

"I just wish -"

"I know, babe. Me, too." Ed found one of Stede's hands, twining their fingers together. "I wish I'd have found you sooner, sure. But that doesn't take away from getting to have you now. Doesn't make the happiness go away."

"I've loved you since you were born, Ed," Stede said, his voice cracking with it.

Ed laughed, adoring, leaning up to kiss him. "Look at us. Couple of sappy old bastards."

Stede's smile was a proper smile, finally, as he wrapped his arms around Ed's chest to hold him just a bit closer. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

[khruschevshoe]

Jim and Oluwande got the worst end of the deal. I'd even say they regressed as both characters and partners and anything they had built up in s1 was almost completely stripped away from them. The way they're portrayed together and apart in s2 is not only unlike the characters we saw in s1, but their rich storyline was reduced to extreme side characters used only as plot devices in a way they absolutely did not have to be used. I LOVED them in s1, and I was so disappointed by what s2 did to them and their potential growth, which I think applies to pretty much everything in s2, not only them.

Mind if I piggyback of this ask to go into all my critiques of the handling of Jim/Olu in Season 2? Thanks!

OFMD Critique: Tealoranges, Dropped Storylines, and Wasted Potential

God, the issues I have with the writing of Season 2 extend in so many directions. Jim's character, I felt, was well-handled for at least the first two episodes but then slowly starts skewing wrong as early as episode 3 (I am still chewing glass over the way their reunion scene with Oluwande was written- or, rather, NOT written). Episode 4 was good, but everything after that? Someone said that Jim in the back half of the season feels more like Vico than Jim, and though I do love and appreciate Vico, it's completely true. Jim doesn't feel like the same character we've come to know, whether from Season 1 or even what is set up in early season 2.

And yet, I STILL feel like they're written better than Olu, if you can believe it? So, I haven't talked about this much, but I feel like Olu is done dirty from almost the moment he is introduced in Season 2. At least Jim (through editing alone, but hey, we'll give the show the smallest benefit of the doubt) gets an acknowledgement that they miss Olu during that flashback sequences while they talk to Archie- Olu doesn't even get that. I read about a deleted scene that would have had Pete and Olu desperate to reunite with Lucius and Jim in episode 1 and I feel like that was DESPERATELY needed to make the Season 1 finale -> Season 2 jump make any sort of sense. I like Zheng, but for the love of God, her romance with Olu (which I had my own issues with for the disservice it does both their characters) is not worth destroying the tealoranges build up from Season 1. Just cut something from the first episode or one of the Zheng/Olu scenes from the second episode to make it make sense.

Then, moving onto later in the season- I've posted about how Olu and Jim deserved the grand, epic reunion otherwise 1x10 and everything set up with them in Season 1 doesn't make sense. Could the writers of the show have possibly redistributed some of the glorious cinematography from Ed and Stede over to Jim and Olu? All I need is one shot of their reunion (a proper, emotional one, not played for laughs or friendship or whatever) framed by the sun to parallel Ed and Stede's being framed by the moon and I would have been happy on that front.

And then later in the season...I was down for the poly elements if they could have been executed better. Fanfics have shown that the Archie plot could have been executed well. But the fact that Zheng is straight up NOT MENTIONED until 2x7 by Olu? And then Jim says that he's been pining for her the whole time? I'm sorry, but it doesn't compute. Show, don't tell. There's a reason why I'm down for Jim/Archie/Olu (if executed well), but can't see Zheng/Olu at all.

But of course, 2x7 comes along and we get the "family who fucked" line. And the implication that Olu could have ever left the Revenge without Jim, when in Season 1 he became a wreck because Jim left for A FEW DAYS, much less was FORCEFULLY SEPARATED from him for MONTHS. Then in the finale, at the lupete wedding, they were separated out, him with Zheng and them with Archie, and, well, at that point...I was tired. I'm not gonna lie. Because this wasn't questionable or problematic writing, it just fundamentally DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.

And this is just on a romantic relationship POV. I hated seeing Olu lose his leadership arc from Season 1 and his loyalty to Jim and his nuanced emotional level-headedness/sense of logic. Season 1 really felt like it was slowly building up the idea that the ideal Captain was neither Stede nor Blackbeard but someone a bit more rational, a bit more grounded, a bit more communicative with his crew- someone like Olu. And he gets shoved into the back in Season 2 and reduced to the guy who can't sort scrolls or know that the BOATS ON A MAP MATTER. He gets no influence on plot or major decisions when he was often the voice of reason in Season 1 (we all remember Lucius being a romantic voice of reason in Season 1, but rarely remember that Olu was a major supporting deciding factor in a number of decisions made on the Revenge).

And as for Jim, I wanted more exploration or even just acknowledgement of their trauma post episode-4. I wanted an actual organic continuation of their character arc post-vengeance quest and post-Blackbeard, not just them getting defined by "funny knife thrower with a girlfriend and an ex-boyfriend who they want to get with his crush." They were so much more than that, and it killed me to see the two people who were basically main character 3 and 4 in Season 1 get shoved aside for unneeded subplots about Ricky and Zheng or Gentlebeard's three separate breakups when Jim and Olu's plotline had so much more potential than any of that. They weren't just star-crossed lovers- they were a slow burn ship built of absolutely interesting, complicated, and well-developed characters who brought out the best in each other with a DEVASTATING midpoint to their arc and it honestly would have made a better season not just for them as characters, but for the show overall if someone had just realized that the parallels between a couple that fights and claws to stay together no matter what (tealoranges) and a main ship that was still figuring itself out (Gentlebeard) would have SLAPPED.

(I am now picturing a version of this season where instead of the Izzy fakeout death/Gentlebeard reunion in the beginning of the first episode, we get an Olu/Jim reunion in episode 3 to parallel whatever reunion the writers wanted to slap together for Stede/Ed. I would have actively cried over the Olu/Jim reunion and it would have drastically improved the season.)

[todos-quieren-ser-corsario]

Calypso's wedding

OK, so I'm out sick and have had time to do, um, maybe a few rewatches. And doing that has me bowled over by just how good this season is. So well-crafted and tightly narratively structured. Not only all the callbacks to S1, but all the internal callbacks within the season. Some of them IMO really adds to the understanding of the sex scene, hence another meta. 

There are so many incredible takes out there on episodes 6 and 7. (It’s a brilliant arc and narrative because the acting, writing, staging and lighting choices can be read many different ways and multiple things can be true at once). Ed and Stede's first time together didn’t happen under good circumstances. Things happened that they couldn't control, and it sent them crashing into that next stage in their relationship. Even so, their first time scene is set to not just an incredibly romantic song, but a song that's very much about long-term partnership.

I only know the French version, and I'm so glad they used that one. Others have written on this, but despite the title, the song is not about seeing life through rose-colored glasses, i.e. in an unrealistic way. The lyrics talk of how being in love and being in a committed relationship can make living easier and less lonely. For two people who both live with complex trauma and with a lot of guilt and shame, that's such a hopeful message. The lyrics even state that being in love is ‘une parte de bonheur’, one part of happiness, further underscoring the season’s themes that you need more than just romantic love to have a fulfilling and meaningful life. 

The song keeps going over the credits, i.e. the fade to black love scene, and includes this part: ‘It's him for me, it's me for him/He has sworn it to me for life’. Like, these are vows. These are wedding kind of vows.

This is a deeply romantic and necessary moment for them, maybe even unavoidable because they are so deeply attracted to one each other. They're being so careful around each other and the ways in which they touch and speak. But circumstances changed, the past intruded in punishing ways and so did the plan of taking it slow. The fireworks couldn’t wait because they are alive right now, one of them needs comfort and Calypso’s birthday demands to be recognized. And so the sex scene both foreshadows a wedding and is a deeply intimate wedding moment in itself.

There's been so much wedding imagery during the season, and it's interesting to see how episode 6 has many callbacks to the beginning of the season. Calypso’s birthday party is colorful, exploding with flowers, dressing up, music and song. This in contrast to the the joyless wedding raid and the bizarro wedding cake party on the revenge with a lonely Ed playing with his cake toppers. This last imagery is replayed in episode six, now in actuality and in golden light with Stede leading Ed around the room in a dance of desire to live music. The very brief screen time explicitly shows an exchange of question and consent. It ends by drawing the curtains, giving both the sense of a veil and allusions to a chuppa (a Jewish wedding canopy the couple stands under; this is important to me as someone who headcanons Ed as Jewish). 

Their morning after has something of a post-nuptial feel to it, with the lazy lounging in bed. (It also feels true to first-time early relationship sex and the new reality of bridging distances after you've touched each other so intimately). But Ed’s warm in his robe. He’s had fireworks-grade orgasms. He’s both made and eaten something for the first time this season after rejecting food as poison in the gravy basket. The food is shared toast and marmalade, a callback to the first night they ever spent together in which marmalade became both a symbol of comfort and the possibility of change. There’s even a morning gift, which is a tradition in Northern Europe at least: A husband is to give his wife something (usually jewelry) the first morning after marriage. Ed hands Stede a piece of twine with a present of emotional intimacy and vulnerability: His memory of mermaid Stede saving his life. 

I love how this arc explicitly thematizes the way sexual intimacy can be so much easier than psychological intimacy and emotional vulnerability. Ed and Stede spend the next day initially relaxing together. As others have said, the color scheme across this entire two-episode arc is deeply symbolic, going from the very bright colors of the party, the red flower between them symbolizing red love, the purple symbolizing Ed's love for Stede, to a golden light that fades into the harsher light of the next day which brings back the realities of the external world. Ed is content and relaxed, eating meals, sharing of himself. But of course the disruption of the pirate world they exist in keeps growing until it's too much for him.

The mermaid scene in episode 3 was brilliant on so many levels. One of them was allowing us to see Ed’s deepest feelings and love for Stede in a situation in which he is unguarded and fully himself. The love. The affection. The trust. The joy. The comfort. The genius of structuring the narrative in this way is that we get to know about it. We get to know that these are Ed's true feelings for Stede, while seeing how guarded he still is emotionally and how much communicating they still have to do. It makes the painful lack of casual touching and the physical distance in their body language this season easier to witness, because it's completely understandable that Ed needs to protect himself still. 

The twine is a callback to rope, to fishing nets, to the imagery of the gravy basket. Ed is giving Stede a morning present of a piece of twine as an offering, a gift, a piece of his most intimate self. However, a piece of twine is also a string, a part of the ceremony of handfasting, another Northern European tradition: The old practice of a betrothal or temporary wedding if you couldn’t afford an actual wedding yet. (It’s the reason it's called tying the knot). Ed is giving Stede, in a rare moment in which he’s taken off his rings, the equivalent of a wedding ring. 

[novaliane-san]

Folks....folks....about the behind the scenes, you know the one: Stede is going down the path to become a real man/pirate and Ed is watching everything. And there are some crazy ideas/hypothesis that I need to scream into the void before I go insane and start eating glass: 1. After all that madness, Ed is going to help a very drunk Stede to get to his quarters and Stede all drunk is going to confess how in love he is and how much he adores Ed and Ed is going to blush like a princess and try very hard not no kiss/fuck Stede into oblivion. Or maybe he won´t try to resist or repress anything and they will make out beautifly.

2. Jealous Ed. So fucking jealous Ed. I am manifesting it! He is going to make a number out of desperation to keep all these clowns away from his husband, i mean...friend? crush? love of his life? his Stede! yes! that´s it, HIS Stede. Ed might use violence but if I am honest I will rather see him scheming a fuckery to get Stede out of there and have him just for himself.

3. And this is a kind of bittersweet one. Maybe Ed won´t like this new Stede? New Stede is confident, yes, of course he is, Stede is so fucking hot, so desirable like this, boy, I have no idea how Ed is resisting him like this, I was on my knees the moment I saw that clip (you know the one) but maybe Ed won´t like how Stede is becoming exactly the archetype of man Ed is trying to leave behind? So Ed would have to have a heart to heart moment and tell Stede something like: "I liked the old you, you don´t need to change to prove something to me or to anyone, because your softness and kindness were the things that made me fall in love with you from the begining!"

Sorry, needed to let this out before crying in my corner again!

[iris-writesx]

come on, come on, don’t leave me like this | gentlebeard

read it here or read it on ao3 <3

there’s just something about some good angst that really fiils my needs. and i’m not whumping stede for once!!!

this time anyways

anyways *hopefully* you guys were hoping for more from me and you like this!!

title is from “haunted” by taylor swift x

3.7k words — angst, hurt-comfort, conflict, canon typical violence, drowning, cpr, near death experience

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

In the time that they had been Co-Captains of The Revenge, they had built up a pleasant little night time routine for themselves.

They would bathe, and dress in their nightgowns, and once Stede had thoroughly combed out Ed’s hair and braided it so it didn’t get all knotty in his sleep, he would apply some oils to his knee so it didn’t hurt so much in the morning. Sometimes they would enjoy a little nightcap, sometimes Ed would enjoy his pipe out on deck, and then they would settle beneath the covers of their bed together, warm and happy enough to doze off in each others arms.

Stede was used to waking first. He was used to waking up just as the sun was peaking through the windows, he was used to taking the time to just admire Ed whilst he slept until he woke up.

On the very rare occasions that Ed had woken up first, Stede would wake with soft kisses pressed to his cheek and his lips, and they’d spend the morning fumbling around beneath the covers together like they were schoolboys.

Stede was used to the soft mornings with Ed.

What he was not used to, was waking up to the door of the quarters slamming open with such force that it seemed to rattle the entire room.

Ed awoke first — still half-asleep, Stede felt as he shifted against his back to sit up, heard his grumbled, “What the fuck?”

“Captains,” it was Lucius, and what made Stede start to blink himself awake was the fear in the boy’s tone. “There’s another ship, they’re trying to-”

The unmistakable boom of cannon fire was enough to force Stede awake completely, and he shot up in bed when he felt the cannon collide with the ship. Everything trembled and shook, the room rocked so violently that a few glasses slid from the coffee table and smashed onto the floor. In the moment of panic, Stede couldn’t find it in himself to care.

His eyes found Lucius still at the door, where he had a white-knuckled grip on the doorframe as the ship trembled. He was still in his pyjamas, and it was then that Stede’s brain caught up with him enough to realise that it was still dark.

His eyes shot back towards Ed, just in time to see him shoving off the covers to climb out of the bed, and he immediately went for his boots by the table. “Make sure everyone’s up,” he was saying- no, ordering Lucius. Edward Teach was not the man going up on deck, it was Blackbeard. “Tell them to all get weapons, get them ready to fight,” he shoved one boot on, was halfway through getting the other on, when he looked back up at Lucius. “And get me Izzy.”

“Yes- yes Captain, right away.” Lucius was quick to scamper from the room.

Stede finally snapped out of his shock and also got out of bed, not caring for the disarray of sheets as he searched the room for his own shoes. They had only had to do this a couple of times when they’d been unprepared, but it had never been in the middle of the night — they were in their bloody nightgowns. He could feel his heart thumping against his ribs as he pulled his shoes on, and reached for the gun he had stashed in the room just as Ed was prepping his own.

“Nasty nasty pirates, in the middle of the night? Honestly, no wonder-”

Stede’s rambling was cut short when Ed seized him by the shoulders, his grip tight, and all he could do was stare wide-eyed back at him.

“Are you sure you should go up there?” Ed asked, and his voice was so serious that it left Stede shocked. This wasn’t the first raid they’d had on the ship, Stede knew how to handle himself — between his training with Izzy and everything that Ed himself had shown him, he really had grown his skills as a pirate. Sure, he still wasn’t great, but he was good enough.

“What?” Stede laughed his disbelief. “Ed that’s our crew I can’t- I can’t just stay here.”

“I know,” Ed sighed, jaw clenched, before he let go of Stede’s shoulders to brace him against his chest instead. “I know, I just… fuck, man, I dunno, something just feels different this time, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He was right, this time felt strange. They had been through the motions of a raid more times than they could count — both ones that they had initiated, and had been victim of — but this time just… it felt like something was going to go wrong.

But they couldn’t afford to think like that.

“I won’t get hurt,” Stede leaned back enough to take Ed’s face into his hands, and held him gently. “I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

Ed turned his head enough until he pressed a kiss to the inside of Stede’s wrist, but anything he was about to say was cut off by the knock at the door.

“Captains.” Izzy’s voice came from behind them, and when Stede turned he saw that Izzy wasn’t in much better shape than them; clothes that had clearly been just tossed on, one boot lace undone, his hair messy from his sleep.

“Iz, thank fuck,” Ed gave Stede one last squeeze before he backed away to move over towards Izzy. “What the fuck is going on up there?”

Whilst Ed and Izzy discussed the threat — a group of pirates that they had never even heard of, just looking for a ship to loot — Stede finished getting himself ready to go up on deck. He knew that they didn’t really have any time, so all he did was throw on his robe over his nightgown, his shoes, and both his gun and the sword that Izzy had been training him with. If they hadn’t been caught so off guard in the middle of the night then Stede would've felt better about the situation. If they were going to be raided, they usually saw the ships long before they reached firing range. But nobody had seen this one coming.

By the time the three of them were walking down the corridor towards the deck, Stede felt pretty nauseated.

The walk there was the worst part. They were close enough to hear the crew as they shouted, the gunfire, the whole commotion outside. A little way before the steps, another cannon hit the ship, and Stede stumbled into the wall with the force that the ship was rocked, and his hand found Ed’s arm without even thinking about it.

“Stede are you sure,” Ed pushed, whirling to face him once the shaking of the vessel had stopped. “Maybe it’s best if you-”

“He’s the Captain of this ship,” Izzy’s voice was hard as he wedged himself into the conversation, looking between Ed and Stede with cold eyes. “He needs to be up there, Edward, you can’t shield him from this. What was your rule on pets?”

There was a tense silence between the two other men. Ed’s harsh glare was met with an unflinching stubbornness from Izzy, a silence that stretched out so long that Stede worried the fight would continue with them in the corridor.

It was only broken by a loud thud from the deck, before they heard a cry of, “They’re boarding!”

Immediately, the three men rushed out onto the deck, and- god, the sight of it all.

The first thing Stede noticed was the ship directly next to The Revenge; it wasn’t as big, but that didn’t seem to be a problem for them at all, as the second thing that Stede noticed was the masses of pirates boarding the ship over the plank they had extended to bridge the two vessels.

It was quickly becoming just a crowd of people, it was hard to distinguish his own crew from the other pirates for a moment. But as his eyes flickered around the deck and actually made an attempt to focus, he could see his men — Black Pete had Lucius behind him and was warding off a pirate coming at him with a sword, Jim had their knife out and was cutting through more men that Stede had seen them do in the past, Frenchie had a gun in hand as he ran across the deck; they were all fighting for their ship- their home.

In his moment of stillness, Ed and Izzy had both also made it across the deck to ward off the pirates that were still boarding; Izzy was pretty much as skilled as he was before he had lost his leg, and Ed- no, Blackbeard moved through the men like he was parting the sea.

Stede quickly snapped out of his trance and gripped his gun tightly in his hand, moving into the crowd of people to help his crew. His sword training with Izzy was clearly paying off as he duelled with the strangers aboard his ship. The longer they were at the fight, somehow, the easier it became. By no means were the other pirates particularly skilled, but they had the stamina and the stubbornness that his crew sometimes lacked.

But Stede was not about to lose his ship, or any of his men, to these pirates.

One of the men ran at him, and Stede didn’t hesitate to raise his gun and shoot. He watched as the blood blew out of the back of his chest, soaked through the fabric of his shirt, before he fell to the decking in front of him, dead.

After that he went a little numb, and it all kind of passed in a blur.

No matter where he was, he always made sure that he had an eye on Ed. Sometimes they fought side by side, sometimes they were on opposite ends of the ship, but they could always see each other. It calmed Stede… well, as much as one could be calm in the midst of a raid.

By some fucking miracle, by the time the other pirates had either been slain or retreated back to their own ship, none of the crew was too badly harmed. Lucius was sporting a cut arm, Olu a twisted ankle, and Stede could just tell from the way that Ed was walking that his knee was giving him pain, but other than that they were all fine.

Stede released a deep breath, dropped his sword, and tried to calm his racing heart as he started to move from person to person, checking on them all.

“That was some good work there, Captain.” Jim came up beside Stede, and hell, if he was getting their approval, then he was certainly doing something right.

Stede nodded, smiled and thanked them, before he turned on his heels to look across the deck for where Ed was. He spotted him wiping his sword clean as he spoke with Izzy by the railing, and the relief that filled him to see that he was okay was immeasurable.

But it didn’t last long.

From behind the barrels that were stacked up against the railing, one of the other pirates emerged, and at first Stede didn’t worry — they weren’t holding any weapons, they just looked scared. They couldn’t actually do anything.

That thought kept Stede rooted to the floor, which would be something that he looked back on in such self-loathing, because what if he could have done something?

The pirate made a beeline for Ed, and with a last ditch effort to claim some sort of victory, he planted his hands on Ed’s chest and pushed.

He pushed so hardly that Ed thudded backwards against the railing, before he toppled over and fell.

Stede could barely hear the splash of his body as it hit the water over the blood that had rushed into his ears.

Izzy didn’t hesitate to gut the pirate with his sword, his face screwed as he pushed the body to the floor.

But even seeing that didn’t do anything for Stede because Ed was in the fucking water-

“Ed!” He heard himself scream at the same time Izzy yelled, “Man overboard!”

Stede didn’t even think, he just rushed forwards across the deck with the plan of jumping in after him. It wouldn’t have been the first time he had ended up in the water. He could swim. He just needed to get Ed out-

He didn’t actually get to the water before Izzy had his arms around him, shoving backwards until Stede couldn’t actually reach the railing.

“What are you doing?” Stede yelled, shoving at Izzy’s arm, his breaths all short and his hands shaking. “He’s in the- I need to get him out! I need-”

“Hey, hey!” Izzy shoved him backwards further, held onto his arms so tightly that it hurt. “You’ll fucking drown!”

Stede’s eyes had filled with tears at that point, and he had been so set on going to get Ed himself that he hadn’t realised the panic the rest of the crew had over rescuing him until he watched over Izzy’s shoulder as Roach jumped in after him.

The splash made Izzy whirl around, so Stede quickly stepped past him and rushed to the railing, but with Roach overboard too he didn’t jump in, he just looked. His eyes flickered across the surface of the water frantically; he could see Roach bobbing in the black depths, could barely make out the waves in the darkness, but for everything he could see, he couldn’t see Ed.

“Where- where is he?” Stede gasped, his breaths short and sharp as he scanned the water. By that point, basically the entire crew were beside him at the railing, also searching. “Where is he? Ed!”

It was agonisingly too long that they watched Roach search the water unsuccessfully. Every second that passed, Stede grew more and more terrified that Roach would be bringing back Ed’s body.

His heartbeat was hurting him, he couldn’t breathe, he felt dizzy, he felt sick, he-

“I’ve got him!” Roach shouted over the crashing waves, before Stede watched as he pulled Ed’s arm out of the water, until his head surfaced too.

He didn’t look conscious.

With the help of Frenchie and Jim, the ladder was lowered and both Roach and Ed were pulled aboard the ship. Ed’s body crashed down onto the wooden floor hard, but there was no reaction from him. He was dead weight, unconscious.

Stede was almost hyperventilating by the time he crashed down on his knees onto the floor beside Ed, ignored the spikes of pain that flared through his legs at the impact. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered if Ed wasn’t okay.

“Ed- Ed-” Choking on tears he hadn’t even realised were running down his cheeks, Stede swept the wet hair out of Ed’s face and cupped his cold cheeks, hands shaking. He was soaked — his nightgown clung to his body with the water, all of him freezing as a result.

Stede pressed his hand to his chest, held his own breath, and…

And Ed’s chest didn’t move. Not one bit.

“He’s- he’s not breathing!” Stede cried out, looked up at the crew around him as his own breathing neared cutting out. “He’s- someone help me!”

But Roach was the ship’s doctor, and at that moment he was coughing up the mouthfuls of sea water that he had swallowed in his rescue effort.

Stede looked back at Ed, and feeling more terrified than he ever had in his life, he pressed both hands to his chest and pushed until he could force it to move.

“Bonnet,” Izzy’s voice came from behind him, solemn, like Ed was gone for good already. “I don’t know-”

“Shut up Izzy.” Stede choked out in the midst of his tears.

He could do this.

He needed to do this.

Ed needed to live.

Stede pushed down on his chest harshly a few more times, before he leaned over him completely, forced his mouth to open, and slotted their lips together until he could push the breath from his lungs down Ed’s throat.

His lips had never felt so cold and lifeless against his own. It felt wrong.

Pulling back, Stede pushed against his chest again, inhaled as deeply as he could, before he leaned down to force that breath down Ed’s throat too.

And he didn’t stop. He just continued, not caring how long he was at it for, because he was not going to stop until Ed woke up.

Stede had almost lost him once before. He could vividly remember when he found his body beneath The Revenge after the mutiny — that all had sparked from his departure, because it was his fault — and he had sat at his bedside and mourned. Stede pinned it down to pure fucking luck that Ed had woken when he did, because he had been prepared to say goodbye.

But he had done that once before, he was never doing it again.

His own chest was starting to hurt as he continued to force breath into Ed’s lungs, forced his chest to move, but he never stopped. He couldn’t.

“Captain…” Lucius was behind him, but Stede refused to acknowledge the boy. Acknowledge what he was bound to say.

Ed was not gone. Stede wasn’t letting him.

“Please,” he was choking out between breaths as he beat down harshly against his chest. “Please don’t leave me, you’re okay, Ed you’re okay, just wake up-” he inhaled deeply, forced the air into Ed’s mouth, “-you need to wake up, you can’t die, you’re okay-”

Stede was sobbing above him, barely able to see through his tears, and from the sheer silence of the crew around him, he knew they all thought he was gone.

Stede’s arms were aching, but he forced himself through it, and it was on one particularly harsh shove that Ed spluttered beneath him, body jerking, water bubbling up and out of his mouth.

Stede almost wept.

“Ed!” He choked as the rest of the crew erupted around them, but he paid them no mind.

He helped Ed roll onto his side, and there he choked up the rest of the water in his lungs, followed by foam and bile and vomit — all of it came up at once. Ed gasped and coughed and retched, but in between them all he took breaths, he was breathing.

“Ed- oh Ed, darling,” Stede was sobbing, then, as he laid a shaky hand against his back and rubbed the best he could. “You’re okay- you’re okay.”

After what felt like hours, Ed rolled onto his back again and gasped for breath, blinking up at Stede as he leant over him. He grasped Ed’s wet hands in his own, gripped so tightly that he probably hurt both of them.

“Fuck-” Ed coughed roughly, squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “Jesus- what the fuck happened-”

“Ed you-” Stede inhaled sharply, unable to help the sobs that bubbled up between his words. “You drowned you- you were pushed and you were in the water for so long I- I couldn’t see you and then you- you were here and you weren’t- fuck, you weren’t breathing and I-”

Ed weakly brought an arm around him, and Stede collapsed into his stomach and cried, the adrenaline leaving him all at once. He grasped onto Ed and cried harshly, cried like a child, cried until he almost drowned on his own tears, and he only let go when Lucius guided him back so the crew could help Ed to his feet so he didn’t catch his death out on the deck in his soaked nightgown.

Stede composed himself as best as he could, and with Lucius and Izzy’s help, they got Ed back to their quarters. Lucius ran to get them some tea, Izzy fetched some rags soaked in hot water, and Stede got him changed into one of his thicker winter nightgowns, and between the three of them, they had Ed tucked up in bed, warming with a cup of steaming tea in his hands within the hour.

Stede didn’t stop shaking. His breathing had evened out, and his tears had — for the most part — stopped, but the shaking hadn’t left his body yet. He had perched on the side of the bed once they had been left alone for the night, and it didn’t take long for Ed to notice his tremor once he had taken his hand.

“Shit- are you cold? Here, let me move up-”

“No no,” Stede shook his head. “No, not cold, just…” he couldn’t help the tears that welled in his eyes as he looked down. “I thought I was going to lose you, Ed.”

Ed squeezed his hand tightly, and looking back up Stede blinked away his tears to focus on his face. “You didn’t, love. I’m right here. Fuckin’ invincible, yeah?”

Stede sniffled, his bottom lip trembled as he swallowed through the lump in his throat. “I thought I wasn’t going to be able to save you, I- I’ve never done that before, I wasn’t even sure I was doing it right, it felt like- it felt like you were dead and I couldn’t get you to start breathing again-”

“Hey, hey hey hey,” Ed’s voice was a little rough from the amount of water he had choked on, but it still held a softness that broke through the ache in Stede’s chest. “Love, you saved me. I’m okay because of you.”

Stede wiped his tears with his free hand, expression crumpling as he met Ed’s eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, Ed.”

Melting a little, Ed put his cup on the bedside table before he brought Stede into his arms. He still felt cold, but he was definitely warming up, which eased Stede a little as he lowered his head to rest against his shoulder as he worked his arms tightly around Ed’s torso.

“You aren’t going to,” Ed murmured above his head, and lifted a hand to stroke through Stede’s hair. “M’not going anywhere, mate, I promise.”

Stede cried for a little longer, but refused to let go of Ed at all. He physically couldn’t, it almost felt like if he let go, then Ed would go again, and he’d be all alone.

He wasn’t going to let go of him for a long long time.

[somethings-coming-up]

Sick Izzy Hands fic - OFMD

Note: I wrote this during a 13 hour graveyard shift, so it's definitely choppy. I also haven't written anything like this for ages. Or anything, really. Anyway, definitely could have used more work and it's too long, but it is what it is. Lots of language too because Izzy. Vomit warning because I don't write anything without it. Cheers.

The crew was in good spirits. It was one of those pleasant summer days where the sun beamed down, but a light breeze brought enough cool air that it wasn't excessively warm, contrary to how it's felt all week. The smell of the salty sea was fresh, and seagulls flew above, cawing contently as though they too were enjoying a break from the heat. The crew was taking a break from work, a handful playing cards on deck, a few others lounging, but regardless they all seemed at ease, enjoying the easy day. It was an energy that made Stede beam with pride, as though he was the one to personally lift the mood of the ship. He knew the weather was a factor, but he was also the one who recommended the crew take it easy for the day and just enjoy each other's company, which deserved at least half the credit, he thought. It was so seldom to see the entire crew in a good mood. 

Well, almost the entire crew, but Stede opted to believe Izzy didn't count because he was never in a good mood, and he felt it unfair to allow that to affect his stats. Somehow, a more relaxed, cool day worsened the first mate's mood. Stede brushed it off, assuming that the man was so miserable all the time, seeing others not be miserable made him more miserable. For the better part of the morning, Izzy had griped about not enough work getting done, to which Stede had countered with the rather fair argument that no matter was so detrimental that it couldn't wait until morning. He tried to convince the older man to relax himself, and only received a grumble in response. 

Now, Stede was watching him from across, the deck, narrowing his eyes in concentration as Izzy leaned against the railing, busying himself with sharpening his knives. Lucius had just had the audacity to approach him and ask if he wanted to join them for a round of poker, and quickly turned away when Izzy spat out a "oh, fuck off" without glancing up from his knife. That was a very infamous Izzy line, but Stede felt it to be a little harsh at the simple invitation, even for him. Izzy wasn't known for being social on the ship, but even he would occasionally play cards, mostly because he was better at it and taking coin from the rest of the crew seemed to bring him a little joy. Even when he didn't want to, he usually responded with a nonchalant "pass" or "I'm busy." 'Fuck off' was uncalled for, and Stede felt the need to stick up for Lucius. As much as he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Izzy's foul mood, Stede headed for his direction. It wasn't until he got closer, and saw the scowl on the man's face appeared to be more of a grimace, and he was squinting, even though a cloud was currently protecting them from the majority of the sun's light. But what really caught Stede's attention was that Izzy looked as though the side of the ship was the only thing keeping the man upright. 

Nope. He wasn't up for this. This was a matter only one person could handle, and it wasn't Stede. Izzy being unwell seemed so unfathomable, so far-fetched, and yet it was clearly happening, and Stede winced at the mere thought of what kind of response he would get if he tried to bring it up to the ornery man. The concentration Izzy had on his knives at the moment was also a deterrent. It would be far too easy for him to lodge one in his captain's throat when they were already in hand. And freshly sharpened too. Stede instead turned around and headed for the direction of his co-captain-turned-partner because Izzy was his and therefore this was his problem. 

Ed was in their chambers, a glass of bourbon in hand, lounging on their sofa. He had taken the opportunity to do 'fuck all' that day, which apparently literally meant absolutely nothing. Stede couldn't blame him though, because he did genuinely work hard day after day and he was happy to see his partner relax and rest. He almost felt bad about bothering him with the current situation, but something had to be done before Izzy actually hurt someone. Or himself. 

"Ed, darling," Stede greeted, taking a seat on the edge of the sofa, his thigh pressing against Ed's side. 

Ed lowered his sunglasses and flashed Stede a charming smile. "Yes, my love? Don't tell me you're already ready for round three." 

Stede couldn't help but blush, but as wonderful as that sounded, there were more pressing matters. "I actually need to talk to you. Well, um… something is wrong with Izzy." 

Ed laughed. It was a real laugh, as though Stede had just told the funniest joke he had ever heard. "And this is news to you? Don't tell me you're just now realizing that Izzy has issues." 

Stede scoffed. "Darling, of course I know that. But I'm not talking about murderous intent. I mean something is wrong with him."

At this, the humorous expression faded from Ed's face, and was replaced with genuine concern. "Where is he?" he asked, sitting up quickly. 

"On the deck. Plotting his first victim. Looking like he's about to topple over." 

Ed stood and brushed past Stede without another word. Stede didn't feel offended, he knew the two men had an important relationship, one that he wasn’t jealous of because it didn't make Ed love him any less. He followed his partner out of their chambers, past the crew to the other side of the deck. He could feel most of them pause what they were doing to spectate, possibly having picked up on Izzy's being worse than a bitchier-than-usual attitude. The first mate didn't stop what he was doing when the two captains approached him, but Stede knew it wasn't due to him not noticing them. 

"Iz?" Ed broke the silence cautiously, like he was approaching a wild animal. He may as well be, Stede thought. They were met with silence, save the sound of metal scraping against metal. Ed tried again, a little more firm, but still gentle underneath the surface. "Iz, look at me, mate." 

The scraping stopped. Izzy lifted his head and made eye contact with Ed, and this close Stede could really see it. He looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot, dark bags underneath them like he hadn't been sleeping at all. There was a light flush to his cheeks, and even though it was Izzy, Stede had to fold his hands in front of him to stop him from reaching out to check for a fever. A few dark strands stuck to the older man's forehead, standing out against pale skin. Despite looking like he could keel over any second, Izzy glared, snarling at both men. "What do you want?" he demanded. His voice sounded exhausted, his rasp thicker than usual. 

"You're not looking so good, mate," Ed said, placing a hand on his first mate's shoulder. 

Izzy shrugged the hand off quickly, hissing through clenched teeth. "I'm fine, fuck off." 

But Ed seemed to know what he was doing. Stede couldn't help but feel he had gone through this with Izzy before. "No, man, you're not. I've known you long enough to know you're not." Somehow, Ed felt confident enough to put the back of his hand against Izzy's forehead, which Stede wouldn't do when the man had a knife in his hand. Izzy still brushed him off quickly though, looking more pissed off. 

"I said, fuck off, Edward." His tone was threatening enough that if Stede were in Ed's shoes, he'd be counting his losses and leaving him be. 

But Ed wasn't Stede, and he held his ground. "Iz," he said again, still keeping his voice calm. "Just tell me what's wrong." 

Izzy glared at Ed, eyes narrowing. The two stared each other down for a few agonizing seconds before Izzy's face began to relax and he looked to the side, expression defeated. He put the knife and sharpener on a crate beside him and his gloved hand rubbed across his forehead. "I… I have a headache," he admitted softly. Though Stede could only imagine that was only a fraction of Izzy's problem, the one confession left a bitter look on the older man's face. Like it physically pained him to admit even that. 

"Okay," Ed said slowly, looking like he was choosing each word carefully. "So you're just not feeling all that well, aye?" 

"Aye," answered Izzy, sounding exhausted and irritated at the same time. 

"Okay," Ed repeated. "It's okay not to always be okay, you know. You've seen me sicker than a bloody dog before." 

Izzy didn't look convinced and Stede hated his brain for wondering what made him like this. The thought made him feel sad, and he never imagined feeling sad for Izzy. And for the first time since meeting him, Stede was overwhelmed with a need to fret. "Izzy, why don't you lay down? You can use our quarters if you'd like. There's more space, more privacy, it'll be more quiet-" 

Izzy looked pissed off all over again, eliminating whatever progress Ed made to calm him down. "I didn't ask for your fucking suggestions, Bonnet. And I don't need your fucking opinions or your fucking bed. I can take care of myself, so fuck off." 

Ed was quick to step in. "Hey, hey, hey, Iz. Iz, calm down." He put both hands on the man's shoulders now, and surprisingly wasn't pushed off this time. "He's just trying to help, so don't be an asshole." 

"I don't want help." 

"Not really a good reason to bite someone's head off just for offering it."

Izzy at least had it in him to look a little ashamed, but the expression was gone as quickly as it came, and no apology was offered, but Stede wasn't expecting one, nor did he mind. The man did look like hell, and expecting this to be the moment Izzy decided to be civil would be insane. "I don't want help," the man repeated. "I just want to go back to my own fucking room." 

"And that's completely fine, Iz, but our quarters might be a better idea. There aren't any rooms right next to ours and your walls are… thin." 

Stede didn't know what Ed meant by that, but Izzy clearly did. He grimaced and looked down, looking ashamed of something. "Fine," he said after a long pause, voice barely a whisper. "If you're both offering, fine." 

Both. It surprised Stede his own thoughts on Izzy staying in their room meant anything to Izzy at all. Then again, he was always so cautious when it came to whatever boundary he had set between him and Ed in his own head. Stede accepted at the very beginning there was love between the two, and slowly grew to accept it, but Izzy resisted, like he was terrified of crossing a line that didn't really exist. Stede didn't know if it was because Izzy didn't want to share Ed, or if the man simply thought it was too good to be true. I'mStede felt bad, because he had assessed long ago Izzy's cantankerous personality was partially driven by the overwhelming need to push people away. 

 

To protect himself. 

"Yes, we are both offering," Stede assured him with a cheery smile that Izzy scowled at. "Plenty of room in our quarters. Why, just last week we let Lucius crash on our couch after a squabble with Black Pete. Woke up with both of them all cozy in the room." Stede knew it was a poor example, because Lucius wasn't in love with Ed and didn't feel like he was imposing on his relationship with Stede, but he hoped to normalize the generosity to Izzy regardless. The older man seemed unphased by the anecdote, Stede doubted he even heard him. He instead was looking down, hunched over slightly, avoiding eye contact entirely. He looked uncertain. No, wait. Embarrassed. Self-conscious. Ashamed. Stede tisked, putting his hands on his hips. "Oh come on, don't mind the crew, Izzy. Pay no attention to them or what they think." Stede glanced behind him, and sure enough there were more than a few pairs of eyes on the trio. He knew about Izzy's nickname, and he knew they used it as ammunition against the man whenever possible. It was no surprise Izzy was feeling self-conscious by the gawking. 

Ed seemed to notice too. He put his arm around Izzy's shoulders, and was surprisingly not pushed away. "Alright, mate, come with me. Stede will keep the crew busy for a minute, won't you, Stede?" 

Stede blinked. Well, he supposed he could do that. Distractions didn't come particularly difficult to him. He had been told throughout his life by just about everyone he loved the sound of his voice. "Oh, alright. Take him to bed, Ed, and then get him some tea." Ed nodded in agreement and began to lead Izzy away, ignoring the protests from the smaller man that he could walk there himself just fine. With that, Steede stood in the middle of the deck and clapped his hands together. "If I could have your attention please, gather 'round, gather 'round." 

The different groups that were scattered about all looked at each other with uncertainty before gathering, their backs now facing away from where Ed was leading Izzy away. Stede smirked at all of them. "Now then, a few words of warning…." 

****************************************

The lecture had been brief, Stede just told his crew that he knew they knew, or at least had a clue what was going on, and that it wasn't to be brought up by anyone on the ship. He didn't mention Izzy by name, he didn't explicitly tell them he was ill, more just a matter of "I know you know, now shut up about it." It was about five minutes later Stede was entering their room. It was dark, Ed probably blew out the majority of the candles and drew the curtains first thing, and he also wasn't there, so he was probably already getting the tea. Izzy was though, still fully dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed, body turned slightly so his back was facing Stede. 

"I was hoping Ed would get you into something more comfortable before wandering off. I'm sure you don't want me doing it. Although, I am not above helping out any crew mate who-" 

And then he heard it. Not a lot could bring Stede's ramblings to a halt so quickly, but that was definitely one of them. Now it made sense--what Ed said about their quarters being more private. About Izzy's own walls being thin. He heard a sickening splash on what sounded like plastic, and sure enough when Stede moved closer, he could see the small basin in Izzy's lap. The man coughed, and his back arched as another wave of dark brown vomit came up, seemingly effortlessly. Stede winced and approached him slowly, using Ed's wild animal method. "Izzy?" he asked cautiously. 

Izzy spat into the basin. "Fuck o-" A dry heave interrupted his attempt to brush of Stede's concern, and after was replaced by a simple, breathless, "fuck". 

Stede winced, moving closer so he was right behind Izzy, but made sure not to touch the bed, and more importantly, made sure not to touch him. However, when a painful, guttural heave brought up very little, it was apparent this wasn't so effortless anymore. Stede winced in sympathy because it looked bloody painful and Izzy's body was trembling violently as he spat unproductively into the basin. Stede could feel his care-taker instincts screaming at him to help, but this was Izzy of all people, and there were boundaries. "Izzy, are you okay with me touching you?" he asked. 

Izzy coughed into the basin before answering. "I knew you were a fucking pervert." He gagged into the basin again, and Stede pretended not to notice the man's eyes beginning to water. 

"No, no, no," Stede said quickly. "I just mean… well I am a dad, and I have been a husband, and I've sat through this before. Let me… help."

“Don’t need help puking,” Izzy growled, breathing heavily. “Body kind of just does it on its own.”

“Do you think it was something you ate?” Stede asked.

Izzy shook his head and winced. “No. Head hurts.” Stede frowned at that because he didn’t know a headache could make someone nauseous as well. Izzy spoke up again before Stede could ask any questions. “Just leave. I’m not finished.” 

Izzy closed his eyes, and for a moment it looked like he was about to fall forward, so Stede had no choice but to take action without consent and he grabbed the man’s shoulders gently. “I got you,” he whispered. “I got you.” Izzy seemed to have regained his balance, and since the whole no-touching ship had already sailed, he began to rub his back. Stede’s other hand brushed aside sweaty strands of hair that was dangling down beside Izzy’s face. Izzy didn’t shove him off, so he stayed, waiting as Izzy hovered his head above the basin with his eyes closed. “Are you sure you have anything left?” Stede asked gently, but apparently jinxed the man because a weak gag brought up a trickle of bile and sick. Stede could feel the trembling now beneath his hand and he physically could not hold back a small coo. “Spoke too soon. I’m sorry, darling.” He placed his hand on Izzy’s right shoulder and began to massage the area, before moving onto his left, and then the base of his neck. Meanwhile, Izzy heaved as though he were trying to bring up his literal stomach itself.

“Oh, Iz.” Stede turned around, looking in the direction of his partner’s voice. Ed was in the doorway, a tray in his hands which he quickly put down on the table in front of the couch before hurrying to the bed. He sat on the opposite side of Stede next to Izzy and pressed a kiss to the man’s sweaty temple. “Figured it was only a matter of time. That’s why I brought stuff to help your stomach too.” Izzy just nodded, wincing again. “Don’t move your head too much, mate. You don’t have to nod, you don’t have to talk, just focus on breathing, okay?”

Izzy didn’t say anything right away, but he took a few deep breaths, indicating Ed’s message was loud and clear. After a few moments however, he whispered, “I’m done. Can someone help get this out of my face?” 

Stede gently pried the basin from Izzy’s hands, figuring he had over-stayed his welcome and that Izzy would want Ed to take the caretaking into his hands. He heard Ed’s gentle whispering behind him as he left the room to dump the contents into the ocean. Suddenly, he felt like he was the one imposing, but he didn’t feel jealous. Just… left out.

When he was back in their quarters, Izzy was lying down, underneath the covers, his clothes discarded on the floor except his undergarments, and Ed was spooning him, raking one hand through his hair, the other hand holding Izzy’s forehead while he rubbed his temples with his thumb. Izzy’s eyes were closed, but he was awake, and lines of pain were etched onto his face. Ed looked up at Stede and softly said, “He gets headaches like these sometimes. They aren’t normal headaches, like other people get. He gets them sometimes when he’s sick, and sometimes they make him sick.”

“He is right here,” Izzy mumbled, but was gently shushed by Ed.

“Shh… Shh… just rest, Iz.”

Izzy opened his eyes slowly, squinting up at Ed, blinking slowly. It looked to Steede as though every slight movement, no matter how miniscule, was physically painful for Izzy. “Actually, Edward, I need a favor.” 

“Anything.”

“My salve is in my room, on my desk. You know what it looks like.”

Ed nodded and pressed a kiss to the back of Izzy’s neck. “‘Course, be right back, mate.” Ed got up slowly, careful not to jostle the bed too much before he left the room, squeezing Steede’s hand on the way out.

“Why didn’t you have me get it?” Stede asked, standing next to the bed.

Izzy closed his eyes and sighed. “Needed to get him out of here so I could talk to you.” Izzy grimaced and winced as he began to slowly sit up and Stede did the best he could to help by propping up pillows behind him so he didn’t have to sit up as much.

“What do you want to talk about?”

Izzy didn’t hesitate. “Why are you okay with this?”

“Okay with what?”

“Why are you okay with my… situation with Edward?”

Stede frowned. Keeping Ed to himself never really crossed his mind. It was apparent from the beginning that wasn’t in the cards. Ed always had a lot of love for Izzy, and probably always would, and he didn’t want to get in between something so special for the both of them. “Well,” he began slowly. “I suppose I want him to be happy, and you deserve to be happy too, and Ed still loves me as well, so we can all be happy.”

Izzy grimaced. “I hated you for it. Why are you so nice to me when I wanted to cut your head off? It’s because you know nothing will change for you, isn’t it? You know I’m no competition, I never have been. You don’t have to be jealous because you know Blackbeard will never feel for me the way he feels for you. He’ll never love me like that, not that much.”

This had to be the fever talking, Stede thought. What Izzy was saying didn’t make sense. He slowly sat down on the bed and shook his head sadly. “Oh, Izzy. You are not a daft man at all, but you can be absolutely stupid sometimes. Ed does love you--he loves you a lot. When I told him something was going on with you, he ran out of here quick as lightning. For god’s sake, he tells you he loves you. Do you think he’s just lying? That it’s all an act?” Izzy didn’t answer, but he shrugged a little, avoiding eye contact with Stede. Stede reached out and took his hand in his and squeezed it gently, surprised Izzy didn’t pull away. “Ed loves you,” he repeated. “And I… well, I don’t hate you.”

“I don’t hate you either,” Izzy said with a sigh. “Well, not anymore. I got over it.”

“Good. Because if you’re going to be sleeping in our bed with both of us, it would be awkward if we did hate each other.”

“Izzy, I got it.” Ed came back into the room quietly, voice barely a whisper. In his hands was a jar of something unidentifiable to Stede. He didn’t need to ask, as Ed felt the need to explain anyway. “This is made up of natural shit, like peppermint, lavender, and uh…”

“Feverfew and eucalyptus,” Izzy finished, holding his hand out. “Just give it to me, you twat.”

Ed continued his explanation anyway. “You just rub it along his forehead, bridge of his nose, and I always get behind the ears for good measure. Helps with the pain.” Stede was surprised this was being explained to him as though he’d need this information for future reference, but he paid attention anyway. Ed looked back at Izzy. “Do you want me to do it?”

“No. I’ve been man-handled enough today. Give it.”

Ed passed the salve to Izzy, giving Stede a smirk. “And sometimes he’s a stubborn arse who insists on doing it himself even though he likes it when I do it for him.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Izzy snarled, but there was very little bite in his tone. If anything, he just sounded tired. He opened up the jar, the smell of natural herbs and spices filling the room and began to rub it over his forehead. When he was finished, he handed the jar back to Ed, who placed it on the bedside table. “I’m going to rest for a bit, I don’t care what you two do.” With that, Izzy sunk back down onto the bed, pulling the blankets up to his chin and closing his eyes.

Ed tisked and pulled off his shirt and trousers and climbed into the right side of the bed, pulling a bundled up Izzy close to his chest. “Come on, Izzy, we’ve been mates long enough that I know you like a little company when you’re feeling icky.” Izzy let out a little humph but otherwise didn’t protest.

Maybe it was because he was feeling tired too, or maybe it was because he wanted to test the waters, or a combination of the two, but Stede stripped down to his undergarments as well and climbed into the bed where there was room. On the left-hand side, next to Izzy Hands. He turned on his side, so Izzy’s back was to him, and he was facing Ed. Ed’s arms were preoccupied holding the man close, so Stede tentatively reached his own over to feel Izzy’s forehead. “Still warm,” he concluded. “Maybe we should get some of that tea in ya before you nod off.”

“No, I’ll puke. And maybe my fever would go down if you two just let me sleep instead of bothering me.”

“Very well,” Stede said with a yawn. He closed his own eyes, focused on the sounds of the sea, and the breathing of the two men beside him, and drifted off rather quickly.

Stede was woken up by warmth. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down, and much to his surprise, a feverish Izzy was clinging onto him, his salt and pepper head tucked underneath Stede’s chin, face nuzzled into his neck. Ed was gone, maybe to check up on things on the ship, or maybe just to go to the bathroom, but Izzy had apparently chosen to seek comfort elsewhere in his sleep. Stede was sure conscious Izzy would hate this, so he started to pull away slowly.

“Lay still. For fuck’s sake.” Izzy cracked one eye open just long enough to glare at him before closing it again and returning to his position.

“How are you feeling?” Stede asked sincerely.

Izzy sighed. “Sick, Bonnet. I feel fucking sick. Same as I did three fucking hours ago, twat. Now shut up.”

And Stede did. He opted to just quietly run his fingers through Izzy’s hair, wondering how in the hell he and Izzy reached this point. Then it suddenly dawned on him why Ed left the bed. 

Conniving bastard.

[izzy-b-hands]

Day One: Negotiations or Swords

It's Ed's birthday, the first one with Stede and Izzy working together to buy him gifts.

SFW, fairly short, and silly lol

---

"You can't just buy him a sword," Stede scoffs. "He has plenty!"

"No reason to not have another," Izzy sets aside what has to be the fiftieth sword he's looked at in the shop. "Not this one though. Besides, is that not a sword in your hands now?"

"It's a letter opener!"

"For what size of letter would you ever need a letter opener that big?"

"Maybe another shop could service you both better," the shopkeeper says.

"Oh no," Stede chuckles. "You're the last one in the port that we haven't been to yet! It has to be here, or nothing at all!"

"You've answered your own question then," she says brightly, and suddenly they're both being tugged to and tossed out the door.

She yanks the letter opener from Stede's hands, and just like that, neither of them has anything for Ed's birthday.

"Do you think the shop with sweets is still open?" Stede ponders as they watch the sun begin to set.

"An hour ago, yes," Izzy replies. "I'm not going back without something. I've never missed a birthday gift for him yet, and I'm not starting now."

"Surely you've had one slip up!"

"Yeah, and that night I spent escaping the local jail," Izzy mutters. "Ed loved the key to the cells that I gave him though."

"Fuck off, that's clever."

"Clever is a generous word for it. Was all I had on me."

"Well, what have you got on you now?"

Izzy pats down his pockets. "Bit of glass from the beach. You?"

Stede grins and pulls something from his jacket pocket. "Bit of interesting metal I nearly stabbed into my hand when I tripped near one of the smithing shops. I've had an idea."

Fifteen minutes and an alarming amount of combined money and begging to one of the smiths later, and they have it:

A tiny, delicate sword, with a blade made of Stede's scrap metal and a hilt of Izzy's sea glass.

"The only way we could have improved on this is to have cleaned out the sweets shop too," Stede says as they make their way back to the beach. "When did you pick up that glass, by the way? I don't recall seeing you looking for any when we left everyone."

"Might have gone ashore early, looking for myself," Izzy makes the most hesitant eye contact with him. "What of it?"

"I'm glad you did."

"Oh."

Izzy's hand slips into Stede's the closer they get to the bonfire on the beach, and to the rest of the crew.

"Roach!" Ed calls as he motions them over to him. "You can start serving now; everyone's back!"

"What took so long?" Roach asks. "It's been hours, and the rest of us-"

"I'm sure they had a good reason," Ed interrupts. "No one in the village is dead, right?"

"No, nothing like that," Stede gently nudges Izzy. "I can't wait; let him have it!"

Izzy pulls the tiny sword from his vest pocket. "You'll never guess how much that cost based on how it looks."

Any nerves they had about his reaction disappear as Ed's eyes light up.

"Look at you," he coos to the sword. "So teeny! Absolutely miniscule! Where on earth did you two find this?"

"Stumbled upon it," Stede replies quickly, ignoring the giggle Izzy barely chokes back. "More or less."

"This is almost better than Buttons' gift," Ed smiles. "Thank you; I love it."

"What did Buttons get you?" Stede frowns. "I haven't even seen him since this morning."

"Wrangled a squid so I could swim with it for a bit!"

Stede gives Izzy's hand a gentle reassuring squeeze. There's no way they could have beaten that.

"And the squid and Buttons are now..." Izzy leans back to peer past everyone to the waves.

Ed's eyes go wide. "Probably fine."

"Should we ask Roach to keep the food warm while we-"

Ed nods, and then he's off to the waves rolling onto the sand, calling for Jim and Olu and everyone to sound off if they've seen Buttons, please let them have seen Buttons recently-

But not before he kisses them both, and gently tucks his new sword into one of his jacket pockets, leaving them smiling like idiots while they help search the shore.

[weiner-enjoyer]

in honor of my friend, to whom this post concerns, and in honor of all those who concern themselves with the matter.

i have finished ofmd, to nobody’s particular interest.

and i have things to say about it. so watch out for spoilers.

stede bonnet. his character displays the most obvious growth; beginning as a fearful and careful captain. throughout the show, he continuously shows more and more behavior characteristic of a pirate. he becomes less squeamish, he becomes less averse to battle, he becomes less averse to piracy. in fact, he initiates an aggressive attack toward an undeserving man he had never met, who owed him nothing.

stede bonnet. his character displays even more obvious continuity. he ends the season by warmly and excitedly greeting his crewmates. he never did stop caring for them. throughout the first episode all the way to the end, his priority was set on making people proud to be around him, making people comfortable around him, and providing a familial connection. as we know, these are all things he lacked in childhood, but i would argue he does it out of heart just as much as he does it out of trauma. as he experiences the hand of death, as he experiences love, as he experiences real piracy, he never stops caring. in fact, he may care even more out of heart now rather than anxiety.

stede bonnet. he learned how to love his peers, but most of all, he learned how to love himself. by the end of the season, he is not shaky in how he speaks. he is calm, he is confident, he is collected, and he knows he is true. one could argue this is due to the trauma and love and life he experienced, or perhaps a telling of time to display to his family when he returns.

but also,

edward teach. his character is not as upfront as stede, but we know exactly what he is thinking, we know exactly what he is feeling, and we know exactly what his heart is. upon meeting the revenge, ed presents himself not as dangerous and mysterious blackbeard, but a tired old man who needs a break. he presents himself as edward. we know this because as he grows, there are no more secrets to learn. he was always true to himself and others. he displayed his tiredness. he displayed his excitement. he displayed his love. and none of it changed our perception of who he was. with a single gun and a single sword, ed chose to wear his heart on his sleeve, where it would be least protected.

edward teach. his heart is on his sleeve, and as it blooms, there are no bees or butterflies to pollinate, but there are beetles who eat. he allows himself to love stede. he allows himself to be loved by stede. he cries. he laughs. he is ed. and all of this vulnerability and trust is not destroyed, but thinly veiled.

edward teach. as he grew, he never left the container he was in. he grew and grew and instead of leaving the bottle he was trapped in, he chose to appear small. but the reality is that we all saw his heart; it was on display for all to see. something he was proud of, pressed against the glass as a trophy of his emotional growth. so when he shrank, he filled the space in the bottle with people of the crew who he knew would never say anything. people who, when asked, would forget the sight of his beating heart and all of the emotions he painted on it. ed never diminished, he never hid. he simply filled space as he needed. and when stede left ed, there was a lot of space to fill.

and now that we know them apart, we can assess them together.

stede and ed. they met near ed’s peak and stede’s worst. ed was teaching stede to come out of the bottle he was trapped in. they laughed together, they showed each other important parts of their lives. but ed never left his bottle.

stede and ed. as stede grew and grew, and ed grew too, stede left his bottle and found himself aboard ed’s ship. so ed made space, and filled that glass bottle with stede. ed never shrank; they shared that space together. two captains aboard a ship, because those captains were absolutely made to fit the bottle.

ed. stede did not leave, but ed didn’t feel his warmth. he lost that second heartbeat, and couldn’t stand to feel the cold sides of the glass. so he filled it with practicalities. people without mouths; people with tools; people who fight. ed found a space for love, and he filled it with indifference. the glass is still cold. ed still cries, ed still feels. but unfortunately, ed still loves.

stede does not belong to a bottle. but as much as ed believes he has total control, there is yet something he hasn’t learned; with his heart on his sleeve, he weilds a gun and a sword. so the glass is still cold, as nobody will ever get close to that heart who does not know ed’s bottle.

stede will find himself on an island without bottles, but most of all, without ed’s bottle. while he doesn’t belong to it, the warmth of being so close to ed’s heartbeat is what taught stede to be human, and not some therapist-machine. he knows ed’s bottle, and he doesn’t care to know anybody else’s.

so what does it mean? why is it important?

ed and stede met each other at different stages of life. ed believed he needed something exciting. stede believed he needed to settle down. so, ed settled down, and stede became more exciting. and there was a balance.

but these two learned to live as one heart. when they separated, stede took everything with him, and left nothing for ed to follow. so what ed had left, he assumed didn’t belong to him anymore. and he got rid of it.

what he didnt know is what he got rid of was not stede, it was himself. the self that laughed, the self that smiled. but never the self that loved stede. no matter how much stede took and ed got rid of, he would always have that part.

we are all only people. we are all only one heart of our own. and that heart may or may not beat inside of a jar. but i dont think stede wanted his heart to beat inside of a jar. they kissed and ed’s jar shattered. but of course, to float across sea, he needed to piece that jar back together. by himself. for a minute, those two people, one heart, beat outside of a jar. they were free.

mary describes love as being easy. as being free.

stede feels easy. feels free.

ed. ed felt easy, felt free. but ed is in a jar.

love should be free. no jars, no shards of broken glass. love should be easy. love should be free.

ed still loves. stede still loves. but ed doesn’t know that stede’s part of their heart still beats. so he threw what he had left away.

[straightupsickfics]

Teacher Anon💛💛💛💛💛 hi friend! How about for sick and feverish Stede in the Tattoo AU “It’s just a nightmare, it’s nothing real.” For the sleepy/cozy prompt. Poor Ed is just sick with worry for his hubby because you know Stede is a workaholic. It does get worse but better. :D

ahhhh this is so cute, poor stede :((( i hope you enjoy this small ficlet, teacher anon! <3

****

Ed is reading on his Kindle when Stede starts to stir beside him. It’s just after dinner, but Stede has been sleeping on and off for most of the day, waking up to drink, take the medicine Ed hands him, or mumble something in Ed’s direction before tucking his face into his chest and nodding off again. 

Not that Ed minds spending the weekend in bed with his husband. The opposite, really, especially with Stede all but wrapped around him, fighting through the cold he’d picked up earlier in the week. He’d pushed himself through work every day, working longer and longer hours so he could earn his rest at the weekend, which, Ed is pretty sure, isn’t a thing. 

Rest isn’t something you earn, and he’s pretty sure this cold is Stede’s body’s way of telling him he needs more of it, but that’s a battle for another day. 

And though he does wish his husband wasn’t feeling so bad, Ed thinks Stede would appreciate that he’s spending most of the day reading The Starless Sea at his recommendation. The story is so wonderfully magical that it’s really no wonder Stede loves it as much as he does; it’s so full of love and pirates and books, Ed can’t help but smile at all the little details that remind him of Stede. 

Now, though, Stede whimpers something in his sleep, and Ed can see his forehead is damp with sweat. 

“Stede, love, wake up,” Ed says quietly, putting his Kindle aside. Stede twitches at the touch of Ed’s hand to his forehead, then shudders against him. “It’s just a nightmare,” Ed soothes, “it’s nothing real. Can you wake up for me, sweetheart?” He brushes a soft kiss to Stede’s temple, which seems to finally do the trick. 

Stede calms a little, his eyes fluttering open after a moment, looking around the room wildly before landing on Ed. 

“Ed,” Stede mumbles. 

“S’me,” Ed says, smiling at him. Stede’s hair is a mess of damp curls, his face is pale but flushed, and his eyes have that glassy, unfocused sheen to them that lets Ed know once and for all that he definitely has a fever on top of the cold he’s been dealing with all weekend. 

“You’re here,” Stede sniffles, rolling over towards him and wrapping his arms around Ed. He clings on as tightly as he can, which, given the fever and exhaustion, isn’t very much, but still, Ed hugs him back, rubbing soothing circles over his back and reminding him again and again that he’s there, he’s got him, nothing is wrong. 

“Right here. D’you want to tell me about it?” Ed asks, stroking a hand through Stede’s hair. “Think you’ve got a fever, too, which is probably not helping things…” It’s too soon for more medicine, but Ed leans over and grabs the bottle of water from Stede’s bedside table and holds it out to him. “Have some of this first,” he encourages. 

Stede drinks slowly and carefully, never moving too far from Ed and wincing when the water hits his sore throat. 

“It’s already fuzzy,” Stede says, voice thick and slow as he makes sense of his dream. He curls himself in closer to Ed, tugging the blankets up around them both. “You were there, but something was wrong and I couldn’t… get to you,” Stede says, his voice catching. Ed can see his eyes filling with tears at the memory of it and hugs him close. 

“Shh, you’re alright. Nothing’s wrong, I’m right here, see? Reading glasses on, because I’m an old man now, reading this book you love, making sure you’re okay,” Ed explains, holding the Kindle aloft and giving Stede a reassuring smile. It’s rare he gets like this, even when he’s sick, and Ed hates that there’s not more he can do for him. 

“You’re not going anywhere?” Stede’s voice cracks as he asks, and Ed kisses him, short and sweet, one hand in Stede’s hair, the other on his hip. 

“No, love, m’not going anywhere. You’re pretty well glued to me, I think,” he teases. “Do you need anything? More tea? Water, juice?” 

Stede shakes his head, rubbing his face and sniffling again. He just looks sick, his nose and face flushed pinkish red, his eyes tired, lips chapped from breathing through his mouth the last few days… 

“No, don’t… don’t go, alright?” Stede repeats, nuzzling himself in close again. His eyes are already slipping shut again. 

“I promise,” Ed says. 

“You’re reading?” Stede asks tiredly. 

“I am. You want me to read to you? Something nice before you fall asleep again, hm?” 

Stede yawns, then nods. Ed knows he’ll be asleep in a matter of minutes, as comfortable and curled up as he is, so he starts the book at the beginning, knowing Stede knows it by heart. 

“There is a pirate in the basement. (The pirate is a metaphor but also still a person.)”

[amuseoffyre]

Got thinking in the night about Ed in episode 7 and why he regrets that they rushed into things the night before. At the beginning of the episode, he's come to a decision about his leathers (his Blackbeard days) and puts them aside and is calm about it.

In the first scenes of the episode, he's open and at peace and talking to Stede about his golden merman who saved his life. They're having a nice time together, eating out, chatting, talking about Stede's letters, even giving pointers at Stede's Regional Debut 2.0.

The change comes in a mirror of the Chauncey scene in episode 9 - Jackie (a figure from Ed's old life) making observations that Stede's star is on the rise, things have changed and "do you think *he* knows that?" about Ed's desire to be a normal dude and Ed whispers "shit."

For the rest of the episode, we see Ed quietly sitting with himself, thinking. He's sitting at the quayside watching the fisherfolk. He even talks to Izzy about getting rid of his leathers and how it felt "fucking great" and Izzy tells him maybe he needs to listen to that.

The fact he turns to fish and fishing as his processing mechanism speaks measures. He needs that association: that stillness and quiet so he can just process everything that has happened in the past 24 hours. And it's a lot. It's so much and this is where the regrets creep in.

Stede eventually comes to find him after "the best day" and immediately clocks that Ed doesn't sound happy. Ed has had the whole day of turning things over and has realised how unsteady he's feeling about it all and finally tells Stede "I don't want to be a pirate anymore".

And this is where the regret comes in. It's not about them sleeping together. It's about them rushing into it when he's realised he still has so much to work out. And it's why he's chosen to become a fisherman - a job that he feels will let him sit and process quietly.

Yes, it's a rapid-fire decision from Stede's POV, but from Ed's POV it has been building up slowly from the beginning of episode 6, when he was dealing with some pretty intense flashbacks including his father's death, all the maiming of Izzy and when he almost killed the whole crew. Then a figure from his pirate life came in and made things so much worse.

He *needs* space from the pirate life and he can't know he'll get it on the Revenge, especially not now that Stede is the Republic's rising star. He is removing himself from a situation where his past keeps coming back to find him, living in plain sight, unnoticed and *quiet*.

Only he doesn't explain this to Stede. Yes, he says he doesn't want to be a pirate, but he doesn't explain what's changed and why, only that he's getting the hell out of dodge. And Stede absolutely doesn't get it and is understandably angry and hurt about it.

When Stede calls him coward, it's coloured by his own experience - he called himself a coward about the way he abandoned his own life and family for a job he knows nothing about. He doesn't realise that Ed is doing the same thing for a not-completely-different reason.

"Fishermen and pirates have nothing in common" Ed tells him. The subtext being "we don't have anything in common anymore". Stede is becoming the thing that Ed is trying to escape and to Stede, Ed is abandoning him on a whim. There's so much misunderstanding going on.

It definitely doesn't help that Stede has gone into the pirate life with this glamorous fantasy of what it is to be a "proper pirate", even though Ed said "yeah, they're pirates" when Stede observed how troubled all Ed's friends are. Stede needs to lose the rose-tinted glasses (and also acknowledge that maybe, possibly, there's a vague chance - shocking concept - that he is quite troubled himself)

They've been talking at cross-purposes so much. Ed tends to hide his real emotions in metaphors that Stede doesn't catch, while Stede tends to bottle up his - he has been crushing down so much all season and they. need. to. talk. but properly because they are both a mess.

And Stede, when pushed, will eventually break and do deeply stupid things because his self-worth and self-preservation is in the dirt. It's why he fights Zheng when he knows she's far superior to him. It's why Izzy tried to get him out of there before it kicked off.

As Izzy astutely observed, he and Ed balance each other out. Without each other, they swing to extremes that become dangerous to themselves and others. They need to have the time to sit down and *talk things through* instead of charging on headlong. They need to take it slow.

Only circumstances don't allow that. Everything keeps on coming and they just haven't had the time. Ed *isn't* wrong about needing some space to process his stuff. It's just that they picked the worst possible way to discuss it with each other and everything fell apart.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Ed and Stede visit a penguin exhibit at the zoo 🐧 im sorry about your kidney stones im sending healing vibes !!

"Holy shit, Stede, look at these guys!"

Stede couldn't help his beaming smile as Ed pulled his hand out of Stede's in his haste to run right up to the glass, laughing in pure joy at the sight of a few fat penguins waddling behind the water-speckled glass.

They'd only been dating for a few weeks, but Ed had already changed the entire world, as far as Stede was concerned. Take this place - he'd been to this zoo more times than he could count, taking his kids here until he was almost bored with it, but Ed's simple joy was infectious. It had already been the best zoo trip of his life, just from how happy Ed was to trade facts from the placards next to the exhibits back and forth with each other and how he carefully repeated the Latin names of each species he saw. How soon was too soon to know when you loved someone?

Ed looked back from the penguin exhibit just to make sure Stede was watching, his smile so big it made his nose wrinkle. "Are you seeing this?"

"They're pretty cool," Stede laughed, hurrying to join his boyfriend next to the glass, his heart swelling at the way Ed leaned right up next to it, his mouth falling open as they watched the penguins dive and swim under the water. He needed a selfie while Ed was still smiling like that.

"Babe, holy shit, look at that guy!" Ed grabbed Stede's arm in excitement, pointing up to where they could just see a macaroni penguin waddling around on the dry land portion of their exhibit, and he giggled as he held his hands to his forehead, spreading his fingers to imitate its feathers.

Oh, shit, Stede was in love. It was undeniable.

He must've been quiet for a bit too long, trying to figure out how to breathe while his heart felt like it was fixing to beat out of his chest, because Ed's smile dipped.

Ed hunched over, a bit, tucking his hands hastily back into his pockets, looking at the ground as if he had any need to be embarrassed Stede had seen him being absolutely adorable. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Acting like a -"

Stede didn't want to hear what Ed thought he'd been acting like, so he gently cupped his hands around Ed's cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I love you," Stede whispered against Ed's lips when they finally pulled apart.

And then Ed was laughing, happy and ringing and perfect, wrapping his arms tight around Stede's middle. "Love you, too."

Maybe later, Stede would tell Ed that he'd never think he was too much, or berate him for acting childish, or anything like that. Later, he'd tell Ed that his silly, sweet goofiness was what made him realize he loved him.

For now, watching in helpless adoration as Ed excitedly read him back the pengiun info on the placards and pointed in delight at their swimming and snapped his legs together to imitate a cute little pengiun waddle...

For now, Stede was too caught up in planning for a fall wedding.

[elapsed-spiral]

1, 2, and 5 for the OTP asks.

1 Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ? I think this could be either. They both have a dramatic streak, and they're both prone to bottling things up until they reach breaking point so they seem equally likely to throw a slightly barbed "because I love you" out there during a fight.

2 What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

We've almost sort of seen Ed do this with a feverish Stede post stabbing: I think he'd be softly soothing, with a grounding hand on Stede until he's come to his senses.

Stede has more of a tendency to freak out so he'd probably be more prone to matching Ed's energy, maybe asking him what's happening in a panicky way until he either calms down enough to see Ed just needs comforting, or else Ed collects himself enough to bark at Stede that he just needs him to hold him, then Stede would get right on that.

5 Describe their cozy night in.

I'm taking cosy night to mean no fooling around.

Again, it's so bonkers to me that we've already kinda seen this in the show too? A glass of something expensive by the fire, maybe some reading or simply talking about anything and everything until they can't keep their eyes open any longer. The room full of warmth - from the fireplace, from how Ed's half draped across Stede on the fancy couch thing and radiating from their faces courtesy of the drink and too much time spent grinning.

Then, when they admit defeat and turn in for the night, an opportunity for Ed to be the world's smallest spoon wouldn't go amiss, with Stede's face pressed smiling against his neck.

What all this is making me realise is that season one has already covered so much ground despite them not having said I love you to one another and having had one (1) kiss. Fellas. You're down bad, fellas.

OTP asks